I must admit, there were times in the beginning where I really didn’t think we were going to make it. I’m not sure what I thought NOT making it looked like, but I guess I felt like I was going to find out.
Let say this, if I talk a lot about things being hard in the beginning it’s because they were. The first few weeks are a smack upside the head and add on top of that the fact that Connor was a colicky baby. For those of you who don’t know, Colic means that for a certain period of the day, usually around 4-5pm when you are good and worn out, your child is going to cry uncontrollably for hours. And there is nothing you can do about it. But I will write more on that later. Back to what I was saying, For all of my comments on the beginning being tough, it was also amazing. I found my breath being taken away a hundred times a day by this little creature we had created. I have never wanted to hold, hug and love someone or something so much in my life. When my parents stayed to help us they were constantly asking to help with Connor but I was selfish, I just didn’t want to share him. Honestly, I still don’t. Mommies prerogative.
I thought for Connor’s 6 month birth post I would write about a few of the life lessons he has taught me since he was born. It is amazing how much you can learn, change and grow in 24 short weeks.
Lesson one-Let go. Let it ALL go. No one will see you for who you really are like your children so there is no reason to try and be anyone else. They will see your imperfections, so don’t try to be perfect, they will see your stress, so admit to it and move on, they will see your emotions, your thoughts and your struggles all from the first few weeks they join your life. Who knew something so little was capable to taking in so much. But their love for you is unconditional and not judgemental, so Connor showed me to just embrace each other and together we would figure it out.
Lesson two-There is no award for having the cleanest house, or the most empty laundry bin….but there is a world of reward in having a happy baby. Connor taught me in pretty short order what my priorities are and should be. So many times I have gone to put him on his play mat, or in his jumper so I can take care of some menial household chore that would go unnoticed by everyone anyways and stopped myself. What is more important? 30 minutes of play time with him, or getting the dishes done? The dishes, unlike Connor, will always be the same. A bowl is not going to turn into a plate over night, the cabinet will not start crying because it is lonely without all its dishware. Connor, however will only roll over for the 1st time once. He will only smile back at you if you are there to receive it. Who needs dishes anyways?
Lesson three- He is in charge. Period. And I will spend the next 20 years trying to keep him from figure that out!
Lesson four-Trying to control the weather and the sleeping patterns of a newborn are one in the same …..impossible.
Lastly, lesson five- Give it time. Life, motherhood and babies don’t evolve overnight. Unlike many other species, humans do not give birth and then set their young out into the wild a few short months later. Every day is an evolution for my little man. Connor has taught me to embrace his ever changing needs and not to freak out about something that could be nothing. I guess you could say he has taught me patience, but I hesitate at that word, ‘patience’. I am just not a patient person, never have been. But now instead of stressing the ‘now’ and the ‘moment’, I just go with it. If I try to put Connor down for a nap before he is ready, yes I get impatient (and annoyed) but HELLO, I’m on his time, not the other way around. So I just go with it. Not ready to sleep? Ok, 10 minutes in the jumper should fix that….maybe……
It is hard to believe 6 months ago I was just a big, fat preggo woman. A mommy to two cats, a wife to a great husband. Now I am no longer fat, still a mommy to 2 kitties (although if you ask them they will tell you I do not take them nearly as seriously as I should these days), still a wife to a great husband but now that husband is also a father, and most importantly I am #1 to the new love of my life. And wow is he amazing. Happy Birthday Connor Alan.
