Today I found myself doing the exact same thing I did, in the exact same place, with the exact same person as I did almost 2 years ago. Rocking my baby boy to sleep. 2 years ago today I was sitting in that same chair, in the same room, holding my huge belly, willing Connor to make his entrance into this world. Seriously, I was ready. But I had no idea what I was ready for or what my life was going to turn into as a parent. That Friday nights would become just another night in the week, Saturday mornings would be reserved for swimming lessons & tumbling tots classes. Monday mornings would…..still suck (no real change there I guess), but for a whole new reason other than just that the weekend was over.
Holding those 35 lbs of sleeping mini-man made me think about all the lessons Connor has taught me in the last 2 years. Patience, for example, is not a gift. It is something that has to be worked on…and children are excellent at helping you practice it. Another one is that you can only take one day at a time, and some times that is even too much. Some days, you just have to take the good parts of the day and try to leave the rest behind. He has shown me that children are so intuitive that they can find, and push, buttons you didn’t even know you had. Amazing. And that smelling like baby-puke is just unavoidable, just be glad it’s not poop. Which you may also smell like, but your friends are too nice to mention it.
My little boy has also shown me the wonder of the smallest things. The softness of a teddy bear (or in his case, a large, floppy polar bear), the true ingenuity of doors, that our fascination with pushing buttons of all shapes and sizes starts at a very young age. His love and joy is infectious, just like his laugh, and it reminds me not to take myself too seriously. That I am who I am, and if my husband and my kids are ok with that, then nothing else really matters.
So it seems kind of poetic that two years later, almost to the day, my son decided that he needed a nap on mama. I guess he knew the truth, mama really needed a little nap time with him. I know it’s a little early, but Happy Birthday little buddy. I love you.
