The mom quietly sneaks into the shed, as she eases the door closed behind her as she lets her eyes adjust to the darkness. She climbs over the mower, rake and other lawn equipment that was haphazardly put away in such a manner that could lead to a total collapses at any moment. She reaches longingly into an old paint can and pulls out a dented, slightly dusty pack of Marlboros….matches, matches….screams start coming from the kitchen, she doesn’t have much time now….Ah, here is the lighter she left behind for just such occasions.Flick. AAAHHHH……….
We have all seen that scene on TV, in a movie or a book. The mom that just needs a break and sneaks something…..a smoke, chocolate hidden in the back of the freezer. I have always thought these moments were funny, endearing even. Now I get them. Like really, really get them. Let me give you a little snap shot of my day.
Connor wakes up 1/2 hr earlier than usual and is very fussy. I go get him and try to get him to go back to sleep. Minutes after walking around his room with him resting his head on my shoulder, he sits up, looks me right in the face and projectile vomits. Great. But of course I didn’t get the hint (for those of you out there wondering how I missed it, shove it). I did finally get him back to sleep, only to wake up 30 minutes later-BUT in a much better mood. This is the part where the early vomiting episode should have been mentally noted and reviewed - 15 minutes later he is happily drinking his 8oz baba while I make coffee. About 5 minutes after that he hands me his empty baba and promptly vomits almost everything he just ingested all over the kitchen. The reason I say ALMOST everything is about 30 minutes later he finished the evacuation of his stomach in the living room. This time I thought I was prepared, I stepped on to the hardwood floor before he started throwing up. Well, I guess I didn’t step far enough because the poor kid puked with such force he managed to reach our couch 4 feet away. It was only 9am.
The rest of the day pretty much followed suit, luckily with a little less vomit, but still a lot of stress. I mean think about it….you are cover in puke, the baby is covered in puke, the floor is covered in puke, where do you start?
Finally by 7pm the little man is in bed and I have devoured a bowl of cereal and you know what I REALLY want. A drink. A good stiff cocktail, vodka please. But I can’t even consider it. Bill is not home and the chances of Connor waking up tonight are….high, to put it mildly. So putting on a little buzz to unwind from a hellish day is just not a good idea. And that got me thinking about those women on TV, sneaking out back to have just a few puff’s of a cigarette. It’s the middle of the day…they have kids running around like gnomes on crack….a drink is out of the question. But what can they do? As an ex-smoker myself…oh how I relate! Now the question is, how do I convince Bill to build a shed?
