I think every parent can agree that there is a lot of advice out there on everything from how to diaper your kid to the do’s and don’ts of feeding. You name it, there is probably a book, blog or professional opinion on the matter. Matter of fact I bet if you were to look up product reviews, baby products would be one of, if not the most, widely reviewed area of products on the market. EVERYONE has an opinion.
All these opinions can become kind of like static in your brain when you are a new parent. You are so concerned with doing everything right, not creating any bad habits, oh and surviving, that every piece of advice is taken in, chewed on and considered for use. It is amazing our heads don’t explode. Really. And after all this you still don’t have any clue what the hell you are doing. WTF.
But some how, your babies do. Or at least mine seems to. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying Connor is some sort of boy-wonder or anything. It has just seemed like he comes to things on his own and in his own time. Example, sleeping through the night. Well this was easy, I just had to bring him to bed with me. Major no-no in the world of parenting and if you tell non-parents about it they practically shrink away from you like you have a disease. For one, I think almost every parent does it at some point and two, it’s wonderful. You’re going to be up with your baby anyways, why not be awake snuggled in bed together? When he was ready to get in to his crib and we found an agreeable way to make it happen, away he went. This was at 4 months, not 4 years, and I shed more tears about it than he did. Pacifier, Connor liked his paci before bed. It made him feel good. And about the time I thought ‘geez I should probably try to get him away from the paci’ he just decided he no longer wanted it. No tears or frustration, he just simply didn’t want it any more.
The most recent ‘I’ll do it when I am darn good and ready’ moment came at the most unexpected time. I was in Florida visiting my parents and a friend of the family was baby-sitting Connor. She had a great time with him and when it came time for bed followed the routine we always do (book and bottle) but he wasn’t asleep. Now here is the part where we usually rock him or walk him around until he starts nodding off and then put him in his crib, some thing I knew we had to get away from but hadn’t really decided how. Connor, as it turns out, decided for us. My friend put him down, he played for a few minutes and went to sleep. Not a single tear shed. He was just ready. So what he was closer to 10 months when it happened instead of the 5-6 like all the books said. Screw ‘em, I got to hold my baby just a little longer each day and all the horror stories I had heard with the CIO and Ferber methods could be forgotten.
I’m not saying there won’t be tough lessons to teach as life goes on. I guess I just have to remind myself to stick my fingers in my ears and say ‘la la la’ every once and awhile and just listen to my child. Just because society, a book, my friends or a professional feels a certain timeline should be followed or bestows upon me some piece of advice doesn’t make it right. Or at least right for us. So……………. ‘la la la la la’ I can’t hear you.
I love it Tiff! You are so right, everybody has an opinion, but only you and your baby can decide what works for you. I had Lily in my bed/recliner/whatever was nearest when I crashed until about 4 months and it didn’t hurt anything. I had even sworn that it would never happen, but you do what you have to when you are dead tired and your baby is so cute:) I think you seem to be doing a great job and Connor is one lucky boy.
Thanks Keri! I think what cracks me up is all the people who don’t have kids who looked at Bill and I like we had 2 heads when we said Connor slept with us. You’re right, you do what works.