blogging interrupted.

As you may have noticed my blogging has been rather sparse since Connor was born. Trust me, it’s not a lack of material. This whole parenting thing poses lots of questions, thoughts and humorous events. It’s due more to the constant interruption of my inner monologue.  

You see back before I was a mommy I could drive, shower, watch TV and do about a dozen other things and write my next post in my head. I would write it, edit it, and after I felt like I had mulled it over enough I would finally sit down and type. From there it was usually just a read through or two and I was done. My posts were usually funny and conveyed just was I was thinking about whatever topic I had decided to write about.

Then Connor came along.

First I thought that my lack of writing was a time issue. And it probably was for the first few months. Infants are all-consuming and any free time was spent doing things like sleeping and eating. But thankfully that doesn’t last forever and now, almost 11 months later I am just getting back into blogging and finding myself running smack into a huge writers block. Where the hell did that come from? I have so much to say, yet when I sit down to say it all that comes out is ‘blah blah blah, grammatical error, blah’. What the fuck.

Then it dawned on me, in the bathroom (pretty much the only place I can think peacefully for more than 2 seconds and that is only when my husband is home or if I’m at work) no wonder everything I have written lately is unfinished or lacks that ‘zip’…I can barely finish a thought, much less a blog in my head! Let me give you an example.

Grocery Shopping:

Old Tiffany-go to the grocery store with a few items in mind and # of meals needed for the week. Paruse isles to get ideas and then put together meal plan on the fly.

New Tiffany-put pad and pen in kitchen to write down items as we run out. Review list prior to going to store. Review cook books and etc. for meal ideas (because I can no longer think up anything to make). Add needed items to list. Review list again. Put list in order of isles at the grocery store to minimize time needed to complete shopping trip. Plan time to go to the store around nap & eating schedule. Once ready to go, get the diaper bag/purse ready. Double check that it is complete (diapers-check, wipes-check, snacks-check, toy-check, wallet-check). Make sure floppy seat & reusable grocery bags are in the car. Get the kid…..make sure I have the list…make sure I have the diaper bag….ok, now I am ready to go to the store.

Sounds a little extreme, I know. But you only have to go to the store once with no list to figure out that you will come back with a bunch of baby food and nothing for you or your husband to eat.

This is my life now. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. And after 11 months, we have a routine and it works so there really isn’t that much stress to it. But I am always thinking, planning, double-checking things……which has left me zlitch time to write a blog in my head. Oh I’ve started many. I’ve even gotten as far as drafting them on wordpress. Why aren’t they posted, you ask? Because I can’t seem to goddamn finish them. I have no endings because my thoughts, my internal writer, gets interrupted, refocused you could say, on something much more immediate like poop on a daily basis.

So here I am again…..writing….blogging….but with no closing, no final thoughts or words of wisdom for future moms. I guess I’ll just end with this, don’t take you inner monologue for granted. Even IT will get interrupted when you have kids.